'They refuse to acknowledge the marriage': Parents shun son's wife because they eloped in Vegas, gets banned from their grandkid's birthday party until they accept her

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Apr 21, 2024 6:00 PM EDT

Eloping can be a dangerous game. If you decide to marry someone you met approximately three days ago, Kim Kardashian style, at a chapel in Vegas, don't be surprised if you're googling "annulment" three days later. That is what most people think of when "eloping" comes to mind, but it's the exception, not the rule to the practice. Most people elope to save money or avoid the stress of planning a full-blown wedding. They also might want their union under the law to be private, without pushy family members making it all about them. 

One eldest sister posted on Reddit about a wild situation regarding her younger brother and his girlfriend eloping. For some unexplained reason, multiple family members are shunning his new bride, seemingly solely because they eloped. When his older sister didn't conform to this shunning, the conflict escalated further, making her a new object of their unnecessary derision. 

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  • 01
    AITA for banning my parents from a family event because they don't like my brother's wife?
    via u/Icy-Lingonberry-8128
  • 02
    So my (30F) little brother is 23. I have another brother that's 20 but this is about the 23 year old who I will call Blake.
    via u/Icy-Lingonberry-8128
  • 03
    A few months ago, Blake eloped with his girlfriend Shay (19F). Our parents and my three sisters (Mary 22F, Bea 27F and Sarah (25F)) were LIVID. Like unusually angry. I was a little confused but I spoke to him and to me it seemed like he and his girlfriend loved each other very much and just made the rash decision to elope in Vegas. We live about 3 hours from Vegas so it's a popular day trip destination so they were there for the day and eloped. Like yeah it was a little silly but I don't underst
    via u/Icy-Lingonberry-8128
  • 04
    Blake and Shay are a very wholesome and dare I say, perfect couple. They very obviously love eachother, live together and split the bills, both study very good degrees and have two cats. I've always said you can't put a timeline on life if they wanna do marriage earlier than usually, who cares?
    via u/Icy-Lingonberry-8128
  • 05
    My parents have made a point to not invite Shay to any family events since. They'll call up Blake and say 'don't bring your girlfriend' (they refuse to acknowledge the marriage). Blake came the first two times they did this but left very early, and he's always politely declined all invitations since then. I've tried to tell my parents that they are pushing Blake away and soon they can expect to never hear from him again but they don't seem to care. They take every opportunity to insult Shay even
    via u/Icy-Lingonberry-8128
  • 06
    It's my son's birthday soon and I'm planning a big party. I sent the guest list in a family GC and my parents saw that shay was invited. They demanded that she's taken off but i refused. They were acting in a way that made me suspect they were going to make a scene there so I banned them. I don't want them to isolate my younger brother and he hasn't been to any family events since he got married besides the 2 he left early.
    via u/Icy-Lingonberry-8128
  • 07
    They are infuriated. They are threatening to show up anyway and think I have no right to ban them for someone 'who isn't part of the family'. My sisters and youngest brother think i am overreacting and I could have instead warned them to behave and told them they would be removed if they couldn't do so. They think the ban is nuclear. My parents are demanding an invite and an apology. AITA?
    via u/Icy-Lingonberry-8128
  • 08
    Royally Oakie ⚫ 1d Judge, Jury, and Excretioner [337] NTA...your parents didn't get the memo that children grow up. They deserve to be banned and they should stay banned until THEY apologize and learn how to behave. It's easy for your other siblings to say you've overreacted because it's not their situation. I'm sure your brother will appreciate the support. Reply 11.1k
    via u/RoyallyOakie
  • 09
    Icy-Lingonberry-8128 OP. 1d I currently am the only one with kids so my parents would be pretty upset if I banned them from seeing their only grandkids. My brother definitely appreciates my support in his own way. He's usually very quiet and not that expressive (besides when he's with Shay) and he randomly texted me the other day that he wishes he invited me to the elopement. It was very touching ... 7.6k
    via u/Icy-Lingonberry-8128
  • 10
    Simple-Status-15 • 1d . An invite and an apology? When over. freezes Shay has done nothing wrong and your brother is happy. NTA ✰ 3.6k
    via u/Simple-Status-15
  • 11
    atealein • 1d Supreme Court Just- [144] NTA, honestly, if I was your brother I'd make a certified copy of the marriage certificate, laminate it and send it to your parents. Refusing to acknowledge the marriage, who do they think they are? ← Reply 3.2k
    via u/atealein
  • 12
    Icy-Lingonberry-8128 OP. 1d My husband (who is ever the trouble maker) suggested that and my brother thought it was a great idea but never did it. I'm going to bring it up to him again Imao 2.3k
    via u/Icy-Lingonberry-8128
  • 13
    perpetuallyxhausted. 1d He should've showed up with his wife anyway and when they protested been all "what's the problem I didn't bring a girlfriend." 1.7k
    via u/perpetuallyxhausted
  • 14
    Evening_Mulberry_566. 1d Enthusiast [9] NTA Your parents are acting very irrational. Sure there must be more to this than them eloping? And even if it's about the elopement, why do they solely blame her? This is just odd. Reply 1.6k
    via u/Evening_Mulberry_566
  • 15
    Icy-Lingonberry-8128 OP 1d • As far as I know, it's only about the elopement. My parents and my brother haven't mentioned anything else. 851
    via u/Icy-Lingonberry-8128
  • 16
    Prechrchet • 1d Aficionado [18] It might be interesting to just straight up tell them, "Until you can give me a convincing reason to do otherwise, I will continue to invite her to stuff." Then, wait and see what the reaction is. If there is something they haven't told you about, that might drag it out of them. Edited to fix typo ↑ 927
    via u/Prechrchet
  • 17
    Ok-Sky1329. 1d Yeah, this feels like missing missing reasons. I'm not saying they're not seems extreme. but...why? It 317
    via u/Ok-Sky1329
  • 18
    broken_soul696 • 1d My fiancee's mom hates my existence and the fact her daughter is with me, since I'm "stealing" a 31 year old woman. Her reaction to our engagement has been to pointedly ignore me at any events we're both at. She won't even look at me. If we just went and eloped, I can 100% see her acting similar to these parents. I know OP said they seemed to like her before so it's definitely a different situation but could be a similar thought process? 375
    via u/broken_soul696
  • 19
    Ok-Sky1329. 1d Possibly...I wonder if Blake was the favorite kid and Mom is having issues over that too. 89
    via u/Ok-Sky1329
  • 20
    Icy-Lingonberry-8128 OP. 1d Oh he definitely was our mom's favorite Imao. From age 15 onwards he used to argue with our dad daily so he definitely wasn't his favorite. 182
    via u/Icy-Lingonberry-8128
  • 21
    No_Contract7525. 1d This is the problem. Mom's favorite got married without her. No mother son dance, no mother of the groom recognition, she didn't get "her" special day with her favorite son. Dad's upset because Mom's upset. Wouldn't be surprised if mom thinks the Vegas wedding is all SILs idea. 241
    via u/No_Contract7525
  • 22
    CRESVO CA
    via Wesley Tingey

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family drama marriage eloped brother sisters wife eloping married life elope husband las vegas married Parenting Fail parents couple Parenting FAILS
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